I don't seem to have that social able quality that others seem to have and as a result I often feel lonley and unwanted. I dunno when even with my companions I don't know what to say and feel that I am boring. What should I do?
Answer:
I know exactly how you feel (and I would guess that nearly everyone else does as well at some time or another). I feel this way quite a lot. I have been trying over the last few years to work on my own self esteem and confidence levels. Try to look at it this way if you were really boring you wouldn鈥檛 actually have any companions. Think about all the good things about yourself (if you find this difficult ask your friends and family) then every time you feel this way remind yourself about your good points. Expand your horizons; find yourself new and interesting hobbies, that way you will always find something interesting to say. And when in doubt about what to ask people about themselves, everyone likes to think that others are interested. Why not look into actual self esteem classes?
Good luck
Get out there and socialize. The more you practice being around people in social situations, the more comfortable you will feel. Read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It gives a lot of good tips which should help you.
Clinical depression. See a doctor.
You have never got to prove yourself to anyone else - always be yourself. Dont let other people sap your confidence. If they are negative towards you then they are not worth having around. If 'you' think you are boring, then you will probably come over that way. Get a hobby and get involved with a group of like-minded people.....remember we're all special and those that sometimes look like they have all the confidence in the world are probably the most insecure! They are also usually the loudest!!
lack of self esteem and feelings of worthlessness are all part of depression. it is a self perpetuating spiral...the worse you feel about yourself the more the depression takes hold, the more the depression takes hold the worse you feel about yourself. Speak to your GP about being referred for counselling. You can get help to challenge negative thought patterns. It is a slow process but one that does start to have an impact.
Sounds like depression but it may be you just lack self confidence.if its the latter.then you can work on it...it'll be hard at first but it'll get easier.just be yourself and keep telling yourself that its OK and praise yourself..you can seek professional help for it.especially if its depression.
You should take a confidence-building class. They are great fun, you will meet a lot of nice people and it will teach you to have confidence in yourself so that socialising will become easier.
Sometimes being sociable comes naturally but at other times you have to work at it. Don't sit and fret and be sad, go out there and make a change.
I lacked a lot of confidence when I was younger, and thought I had nothing to offer when in a social situation. But I took a couple of classes, some just evening classes like art, writing good prose etc, one was a confidence building class, and they all helped me to socialise, gain some confidence, and I made some great friends. And once you have more things in your life, the more things you will have to talk about and share with other people
Good luck, sweetheart, I am sure once you decided to make a change, things will improve greatly.
Find a hobby or something you like to do. I suggest running. You will be surprised at how many others started because they were lonely. You will really enjoy it believe me
Let yourself in on the big secret that no-one ever talks about - EVERYONE feels like you do at some time or another, it`s just many more people are better at faking it!
You need to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem, but a big leap forward in the right direction will be to understand that you are not abnormal, odd, or the only one who feels like this. Remind yourself of that next time everyone around you seems brighter and more interesting than you are!
From there, get yourself some counselling to figure out why you are so lacking in confidence. You are gonna be fine, but take the time to work on yourself a little bit. Just like your stomach muscles, your psyche also needs a little effort - and often it`s even more painful!
u can change that. don't u have any bestfriend? it can helps a lot. if u want to feel accepted by others, u have to get to know them better. be happy, friendly n cheerful. then the others will eventually approach u. if u can't find what to say, then at least u can be a good listener to your companions. just ask anything n listen to their stories. a good listener is much better than sweet talker, ;-)
i'm sure you have plenty of social ability. one fairly good rule would be: don't moan or whine too much. this just brings everyone down. be yourself but try and be cheery too. think of something that puts you in a good mood and go out there and socialise!
I dont know how old you are. It could be just typical for your age. You are a shy person. There's nothing wrong with that. A lot of people are. I was also very shy back in junior high and first few years of high school. I just needed some people who had same interests as me to be open with them. When I found those people, I didn't have any trouble making friends. I'm sure you have a loving family. Just enjoy your time with them. Spend time with them, see how you talk to them and try to replicate the same around your friends. If not in a group situation you can at least try and do it on an individual basis. You can even talk about this with a close friend. No body is boring unless they are bored of themselves. If you dont like your own company how would othe rpeople like your company? You have to learn to be comfortable with yourself and like yourself in order for others to enjoy your company. I'm sure if you opened up to these friends, you will not see yourself as boring. take risks. talk to people even when you think you might be making a fool out of yourself.
Everyone has there ups and downs, but if you have more downs than ups or you have a dark cloud hanging over you all the time that you can't shift maybe you are depressed. See you doctor or GP who will be able to help.
Just because you are a quiet person, it does not mean you don't have a lot of good things to say or to bring to others. You have to believe that about yourself. Furthermore, if you have friends to be around that means they see something in you or they would not be your friends. Also, you have to know, some people put on this over happy persona. Just believe in yourself and be true to who you are.
start thinking more of yourself! life is for living and its far too short! start believing in yourself as a person, and learn to love yourself!
Sounds like you may be suffering from social anxiety,CBT may help.
talk to a councellorzz
You should try to talk to people more.The more you do the better you will get.
Read the newspapers every day, and My Yahoo! Reuters: "Oddly enough" and commit some to memory, or write them down on a scrap of paper, and read it when you go to the toilet. Talk about music, sport, girls: ask them what they are going to do both short term and long, Ask if they have any funny stories about their families (have you?).
build up your self estheme they would not want you with them if they think that you are boring :P dont worry im sure you are a very special person and mean a lot to all your mates! :)
Love Danielle xxx
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